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If you don’t believe in oral sex... ... keep your mouth shut.Fixing the dentsOne day a Stepford Wife entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.The Stepford Wives went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when The Stepford Wife from across the street walked over and asked what she was doing?After hearing the whole story the second Stepford Wife pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down!”The Church GossipMildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular. That is, if you would like to.”“Of course. Actually, I was hoping that you would be alone. I was afraid that your wife would think that my nightgown is a little risqué and want me to put a robe on over it.”“I don’t think so. She doesn’t seem to notice very much after she takes her contacts out while getting ready for bed.”“I didn’t even know she wore contacts, Mr. White.”“Yes, she has done for several years now. And she refuses to wear her glasses when she takes the contacts out. I’m a little surprised that I don’t need glasses as well, now that I am getting on in years.”I knew that statement called for a rapid response on my part so I quickly said, “You’re not getting old, Mr. White. You’re the most virile man I know. And the best looking, too.”“Why, why thank you, Caroline. But I think you just haven’t met very many men yet.”“It’s true that I haven’t known any men, if that’s what you mean. But I’ve met you and would love to get to know you.”I tried to put extra emphasis on the.
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